A certain CityBike editor may (or may not—hard to say, honestly) have recently been lit up for traveling at sorta, kinda, extra-legal speeds on our Indian Roadmaster test bike. His excuse? “Ride Fast Take Chances, occifer!” DUH.

The more legit, but still not legally defensible, excuse is the fairing and windscreen on that thing are so damn good that there’s about the same amount of wind noise at 80 MPH as there is at 10 MPH. Most of us ride bikes with smallish (or broken) windscreens, or no windscreen at all, and we count on the roar of the air to keep us apprised of our speed. Generally pretty foolproof. Even CityBike-proof, you might say.

Anyhow, the H-D-mounted moto-officer in this completely fictional story checked our fast-riding, chance-taking hero’s papers, which—surprisingly—didn’t reveal any warrants or other “issues” and pointed out that 91 MPH is a bit much on the freeway. He was downright friendly about it, and here’s where things got interesting.

“Listen, CHP loves bikes. I love bikes, obviously. Even the car guys (rolls eyes) love bikes, for the most part. We cut riders a lot of slack. But you should know that we’ve been officially instructed, from all the way at the top, to collect more data on bikes. You know what I mean? So if you get pulled over for 90+ again, you’re probably not going to be sent on your way with a smile and a slap on the wrist, like I’m doing right now. So take it easy, ok?”

The two riders shook hands, and went on their way. No harm, no foul, no fines.

Even the typical CityBike writer/rider is smart enough to know that “collect more data” means “write more tickets.” So keep your eyes up and your speeds down-ish on public roads—Ponch and John aren’t gonna be so lenient, at least for a while. You’ve been warned, as have we.

This story originally appeared in our April 2015 issue, which you can read in all its high-res glory here.

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