Sac Mile Moved to August Because The Sac Won’t Be Hot as Balls like Usual

In other, more accurate and complete, words—the Sacramento Mile has been rescheduled to August 10th because it’s gonna be raining, or as the press release put it, “due to prolonged precipitation in this weekend’s forecast.”

Previously purchased tickets will be honored on the new date, those who want a refund because it actually will be hot as balls in The Sac in fucking August should contact the box office, blah blah blah.

This rain cancellation business is directly contrary to the true grit mystique featured in endless memes shared on “the socials” by supposed motorcyclists intent on proving to the world what hardasses they are. You know the ones: photos of racers roostertailing through rainy corners or splashing through muddy motocross whoops, with some clever line like “NASCAR is canceled for rain? Adorable,” the intent being to create a connection between the apparently massive balls of the pictured racers and the keyboard-riding poster.

I’m not gonna share any examples, because like most memes, these are dumb as the dimwits that communicate solely via this less-intelligent-than-emojis method.

Anyhow… we here at World Headquarters have no doubt that flat track racers are tough as hell. After all, Bryan Smith, who’d won the previous seven Miles in The Sac, placed third last year after breaking his leg at the Texas Half-Mile just three weeks prior.

I was actually thinking a bit of rain might help with the dust that we cracked wise about on the socials after last year’s Sac Mile, which led to public gnashing of teeth on Facebook and butt-hurt phone calls from various people involved with the event, upset that we mentioned the dust, the shitty parking, and the shittier attitudes of the security staff.

Said crybabies were also confused and upset by my very descriptive and 100% accurate characterization of Indian-mounted racers dominance as basically teabagging the entire field, took umbrage with my abbreviating the long form moniker of The Mile to Sac Mile—as if I made that shit up—and even fretted about my use of The Stogie instead of the proper, King’s English name for the Calistoga Mile—which I did make up.

All of this uninformed whining and wailing somehow ignored the positive tone of our coverage of the Sac Mile and flat track racing in general, but whatever. We’re used to a significant segment of motorcyclists and moto-involved people being dum-dums—see above commentary on communication via memes.

Anyways… like I said, this is certainly not about the racers (though there may be a legitimate concern for safe track conditions) but rather an acknowledgment that motorcycle racing fans, despite their constant adventure-esque posturing—again, see above critique on diss-meme-ination—probably aren’t gonna buy tickets to sit in the rain.

In the meantime, you can check out a whole mess of photos from the last year’s Sac Mile and Stogie to tide you over till you get your flat track fix in August—or at one of the other races between now and the Hot August Sac.

The Night Before the Mile and the Sacramento Amateur Mile events hosted by the Lodi Motorcycle Club have unfortunately been canceled due to the previously mentioned “prolonged precipitation,” but the local flat track true believers have lots more real-deal racing at the Lodi Cycle Bowl throughout the summer.

 

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