Even Monkeys Get the Blues

Holy shit, you guys. It’s not even June and Honda’s already telling us about “updates” to their 2020 models. This can only mean that there’s really big news coming later this year, that the Red Riders don’t want to overshadow critical updates like new colors for some of Honda’s smallish bikes.

Yeah, ok… it could mean something else. It could also mean nothing at all, other than some Honda PR flack’s excitement over and subsequent premature announce-ulation of the fresh bold-no-graphics. I sure don’t know, but saying “This can only mean…” seems like it’ll add some urgency to this news, so we’ll let our fancies take flight and imagine that Honda will be announcing an Africa Twin-based flat track-styled competitor to Indian’s FTR1200 instead of just “forging” a partnership with American Flat Track by placing their Talon side-by-sides trackside at AFT events (yawn…), or even mo’ better, rectifying the luggage capacity sins of the latest Gold Wing.

Just to be clear, the above “predictions” are hogwash. Don’t blame us if your less gullible friends shame you for spreading rumors based on this irresponsible, fantastical fibbing.

Speaking of hogwash, here’s a bitchin’ jam to bob your nog to while perusing this critical dispatch.

You’re welcome. Now on with the “news.”

Honda has killed every monkey’s favorite color for 2020, Banana Yellow. The non-ABS Monkey, which was yellow to represent the higher potential for shit going bananas, will be blue for veinte-veinte, Pearl Glittering Blue to be more specific.

The blue ain’t bad, but it’s no Banana Yellow. I’ve been dreaming of a pair of Monkeys in my garage—one red, one yellow—since the smallish simians were announced, so I’m again considering selling off some of these guitars and maybe a spare dirtbike to grab a yeller one before October, which is when the 2020s are supposed to hit dealers.

Interestingly (to me at least) it always seems to be Hondas that put me into “sell some shit to get one of these” mode.

There’s not much other Monkey news. Pricing remains the same: $3,999 for the blue one, $4,199 for the ABS-equipped one, which is still Pearl Nebula Red.

Time will tell whether Honda’s monkeying with their Monkey’s bananas was the right move, but while we’re talking monkeys, I’ll cue up another tune for ya:

Relevant, right?

CB What I Did There?

Honda’s other new-ish little bike gets new paint too. The CB300R, which Max rode last summer, will only come in something called Matte Pearl Blue for 2020, which is probably fine even if it sounds a little like Harley’s “demin” colors.

Yeah, ok, it looks good, but it’s neither red nor black, two of the best motorcycle colors in the world and coincidentally the two colors available on the 2019 CB300R. At least the Monkey still comes in an appropriately Honda-esque red (two tone, even!).

Seriously, what about Ride Red, bro?

The 300R will only be available with ABS for 2020, for the same pretty bargain-y price as the 2019 cB300R ABS, $4,949. Someone will surely grumble about Honda “taking away our right to choose” and how “real riders can brake better than computers.” I’ve run out of ways to nicely poke fun at such horseshit, so I’ll just say that the 300R isn’t really intended for you and your oh-so-talented GP-racing pals, Mr. Real Rider.

Riders interested in really riding and not just yammering will find the 2020 CB in dealers this June.

Grom With the Wind

I know, that heading is really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of cleverness and especially relevance, but hey, it’s a nice afternoon and I’d rather be riding motorcycles, and hey, you get what you pay for. It made me chuckle, mostly because I’m imagining all the groans it’ll induce.

Anyhow… the Grom, still some of the best damn fun we’ve had on motorcycles, keeps its colors for 2020: Cherry Red, Blue Raspberry, Incredible Green, and KTM Halloween Orange. Pricing stays the same too: $3,399 for the non-ABS, full-bananas model and $3,599 for the ABS version, which only comes in red. While thirty-six-hundred bucks will get you several beat-ass TTR125LEs, we still think $3,599 is a decent price for a brand-spankin’-new Honda mini with IMU-based ABS.

Like the CB300R, 2020 Groms will start showing up at dealers in June.

5 Responses

  1. Max Klein

    Imma call it right now. V4.

    One of these years I am going to be right and you will all have to bow to my genius.

    Reply
  2. Batshitbox

    I can’t figure out Honda’s paint department. They have models that are only available in one color (NC750, Super Cub, CB300R), which seems to change every year (so don’t lose hope that yellow might be color of the year soon) and then there’s the Africa Twin Adventure Sports Dual Sport Adventure Motorcycle, which is only available in three colors all at the same time.

    Reply
    • Surj Gish

      Hah! They do have some nice colors, though. That deep red on the ’18 NC was sweet. The red Wings are just gorgeous.

      But I’m partial to the yellow from 2000. Remember the one year of yellow VFR800s? I think the Wing and the Reflex scooter came in it as well. There was even a trippy familiar resemblance between the headlights/front end of the VFR and the scooter.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.