Come say hi to some of your favorite contributors, yell at the ones you don’t like, catch up on your back issues, and we’ll even have the world-famous “Ride Fast Take Chances” City Bike  T-shirts for sale (just $14.99) and stickers, too.
It’s this weekend, November 20-22. Get more info at www.motorcycleshows.com. Tickets are just $12 online, less than a bottle of water at most S.F. Liquor stores. See you there!

ON THE WEB
We’re busily updating our website, so go over to www.citybike.com and see archived articles, columns and more. Also coming soon: a link to a discussion forum (hosted at www.bayarearidersforum.com) so you can discuss your favorite articles, give us feedback or explain, in a mere 1100 words, why you are canceling your subscription.

MORE BUELL SHIT
As if it wasn’t bad enough to lose the only American mass-producer of sportbikes, we now learn the quirky H-D subsidiary had some interesting stuff in the pipeline. A dreamy-looking yellow sportbike  was snapped by Roadracer X’s contributor John Hanson (we can’t get rights to use the entire photo, but you can see it in Roadracer X) near the Buell plant in East Troy. The bike looks frigging gorgeous, if a little derivative of Ducati’s 1198, but nobody in their right minds would fault the styling. It’s rumored to be an 1199 motor, too. Combine the bigger displacement and the tuning tricks Buell picked up over a season of AMA roadracing with the compact and excellent chassis of the 1125R series and you’d have bike-of-the-year, something fast, great-handling and with head-turning good looks. Oh, and let’s not forget the price break offered by the weak  Yankee dollar. Too bad Harley-Davidson, in its cold-hearted corporate wisdom, has literally crushed the entire company (there’s also a photo from an unknown lensman of a dumpster filled with Buells) intov nothingness. It drives poor little News, Clues into a sobbing, helpless rage every time we think of it.
We keep hoping Erik will snap out of his funk, force H-D to sell him Buell, and start building the bikes he’s always wanted to. And we know, eventually, something good will come of it.


AL SAL RETURNS
From the AFM’s Joe Carillo:
News Flash: San Francisco’s own Al Salaverria is coming out of retirement! Al was spied  testing a new Jokerio Racing-owned Ducati 1098R at Infineon raceway on October 28. “We’re coming out of retirement,” said Al, who hasn’t raced a superbike for 10 years, “and going to do the West Coast AMA Superbike races and go for the AFM number-one plate at the same time.”
Al runs a fledgling skateboard and apparel company called “Fateez,” based in S.F. He’s also been helping raise two boys, but now he feels it’s time to get back to racing. “We’re getting a lot of help from Nick and the boys down at Munroe Motors,” Al said.  “I have some unfinished business out on the track, so I’m training hard and riding a lot “ The soon-to-be 34-year-old Al added, “This is it, baby, it’s now or never!”
We say, go Al Sal! We’ll be watching him. Photo: GotBlueMilk.com

CITY BIKE OR SHITTY BIKE?
There’s an importer of crappy Chinese-made electric scooters in India who unfortunately decided to put the logo “Citybike” on the rolling turds he sells, and guess who gets hate e-mail from various dissatisfied Indians? That’s right, poor little News, Clues. An example:
Dear Sir.
I purchased one city bykes from Maa Saradamoni Enterprise. After purchased above model, found some complaints, same model diposited to service centre. service engineer of Maa Saradamini enterprise rectified some complaints & still some pending as follows. Please, do the needful at your earliest & I am waiting for your corrective action.
With Regards,
Som Dev Roy
Thanks for writing, Som Dev...we’ll do the needful at our earliest, but if Maa Saradamini’s guys can’t fix it, there’s fuc&-all we can do. After all, “Nobody doesn’t like...Saradamini.”


FUN WITH SPEED CAMERAS
Italian motorcyclist Paolo Turina is appealing a $330 speed-camera ticket that was issued for 383 mph.
Turina told a wire service that if he could go that fast he’d be winning MotoGP races. “What did they think they were clocking - a jet fighter?” asked the 26-year-old. “If the court rules the fine will stand then I’m going to send it to the Guinness Book of Records - after all if the court says its true then I should get the credit for this remarkable feat.” It could happen here, folks, to wit:

SLOW THE ROLL
More injustice, from contributor Richard Harmon:
“A few months ago the City of South San Francisco activated a red-light camera system at the intersection of El Camino Real/Westborough Boulevard/Chestnut Avenue. Since the ticket-issuing system was turned on, over 60 tickets a day have been issued for running red lights, at around $500 a pop (the private camera company gets a big chunk of the fine). Almost all of these tickets have not really been issued for blowing through a red light, but for failing to come to a “complete” stop before making a right turn on a red light.
When the intersection was being monitored by a traffic officer in the field, the officer could use his judgment about whether or not a driver needed to be stopped and ticketed for rolling slightly before making a right turn on the red, but with the camera, and the staff (who may not be sworn officers) reviewing the photos, the infraction is literally “black and white”. If you do not come to a full and complete stop when turning right, you get a ticket.
So be very careful when making a right turn on a red light at any photo-camera-controlled intersection on the San Mateo Peninsula—especially the turn from eastbound Westborough Boulevard on to southbound El Camino Real. Taking the time to come to a full stop and putting your foot down just for fun for a second, can save you a $500 extraction from your income, a point on your license, a higher insurance premium for every vehicle that you own—and a lot of aggravation and mental irritation. Plus, the more tickets get issued by remote camera systems, the more of these systems will get installed in the future.”
News, Clues would like to point out that such revenue-generating schemes are constitutionally questionable (you are stripped of your sixth amendment right to cross-examine your accusers, for starters) and at the very least un-American. You can learn more about the farce that is the red-light camera industry by going to www.highwayrobbery.net.

TAKING ITS TOLL
December 7 may once again a day that will live in infamy: your friend and ours, the Bay Area Toll Authority (BATA) is holding hearings on how it should jack up tolls to cover a projected $160-million annual shortfall. One plan is to raise tolls to $5 for all vehicles and hit 3-axle vehicles (and trailers) for another $10. The second plan is to charge $5 for two-axle vehicles (but jeez, a motorcycle axle is such a tiny thing...), $6 for additional axles and $3 for carpool vehicles, including two-wheelers. The third option charges $6 for vehicles during peak hours and $4 for off-peak (this plan will reduce congestion, sayeth the policy wonks) and $3 for carpools.
NCR and the Surgeon General of Boliva have determined that this plan sucks: taking away free toll for carpooling will put additional cars on the road and take away an important advantage of moto-commuting, increasing congestion and fuel consumption. The next meeting is at 6:30 pm at the downto wn SFSU campus, 835 Market Street, room 609, S.F. Additional public hearings are scheduled at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, Nov. 17, in the City Council Chambers of San Mateo City Hall, 330 West 20th Avenue, San Mateo, and at 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 3, in the Wisteria Room of the Concord Senior Center (located in John F. Baldwin Park), 2727 Parkside Circle, Concord. All three public hearings will feature a short open house (from 6:30 to 7 p.m.) an  yd a           y  staff presentation (beginning at 7 p.m.) prior to taking public testimony. Show up and yell angrily, waving your arms, and if that doesn’t work, self-immolation is never out of style.
 
FLAT TRACK FUN THIS SATURDAY
From Krumpledick at Slideways Racing:
“Skeeks” Gianotti and Slideways Motorsports Marketing are hosting a dirt-track playday this Sunday, Nov. 22  from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm at the Santa Clara Fairgrounds, former home of the San Jose Mile. It’s a very well-groomed 1/8 mile banked track that’s great fun. Skeeks is going to fire up the barbecue and Johnny Murphree and Rod Spencer will be there to slap some backs and offer mentoring as requested. Admission is $15 and sub-150cc bikes are FREE!
Please come out and support our local practice track! Ya might remember that the San Mateo Motorcycle Show is this weekend so you can go to the show on Saturday, go out and cut a bunch of practice laps on Sunday and make up to your wife on Monday. Call Skeeks for more info (831/673-1000) or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

ACCESSORY TO A PARTY
From Santa Clara Cycle:
“Santa Clara Cycle Accessories, at 993 E. El Camino Real, in Sunnyvale, would like to thank our customers for their support this past decade! Join us Friday, December 4th from 10:00 am to 10:00 pm for free BBQ, a DJ, free raffle prizes and sale prices throughout the store. On Saturday, meet us at the store at 11:00 am for a scenic toy run: bring a new, unwrapped toy. Free BBQ at the end of the ride and a store-wide sale will take place. For more info call 408/730-0600.”

BARF ON CANCER!
Our friends at Bay Area Rider’s Forum are sponsoring fundraising events in San Francisco and San Jose. $20 gets you in to a screening of Peter Starr’s 1980 moto-documentary Take it to the Limit, a look at the contemparary state of motorcycle competition. It features Mike Hailwood, Barry Sheene Kenny Roberts and even  Arlo Guthrie in an animated segment. There is some great onboard footage, and if that’s not enough, just one word to you: Foreigner. Need we say more?
The S.F. Show is at the Roxie theater (3117 16th street) December 8th at 7:30 pm and the San Joe screening will be at 7:30 on the 9th, at the Camera 3 Cinema, 288 South Second Street. Tickets are tax deductible and proceeds benefit prostate cancer research. Go to www.takeittothelimit.tv for trailers, more information and to buy tickets.
 


KILT IN ACTION
If you have a kilt and nothing planned for December 12, why not participate in the S.F. Vampire’s fifth-annual Kilt Ride? It starts at 11:00 am at Red’s Java House (Pier 30, right under the Bay Bridge) and yes, everybody wears a kilt, although some of the ladies suddenly get all modest (or maybe just cold) and wear leggings. Cheaters!  A tru’ scotts nae wear trou’, lassie! Get more details at vampiresmc.com.

JIM THURBER’S NEW RIDE
Contributor Jim Thurber got hisself a BMW R1200R from Cal Moto in Mountain View, and he is loving it:
“Got out for some serious R1200 riding yesterday. What a fantastic bike. My DRZ 400 would cruise at 70 mph but that was pretty close to “it.” I’d whack the throttle open on the DRZ and it would make a little more noise. I’d watch the speedo slowly creep up (unless it was a long, uphill stretch) and once I hit 84.
My employer, Los Altos School District, decided to give me a raise (albeit small) so I began searching for a new ride, one that would suit my riding personality a bit more then the DRZ. I found a delicious F800S down at San Jose BMW (with under 350 miles - an executive bike) and nearly purchased a similar one from Tri Valley BMW over in Livermore. But my eye focused on the R1200R. A naked bike was perfect: one can always add a windscreen and soft bags. BMW had solved all the fueling and reliability issues of the early oilhead bikes and perhaps it was time to at least inquire.
I did, the price was superb, and a few hours later I had a brand new R1200 sitting in my garage, equipped with computer and ABS and heated grips and four fancy clear turn signal lenses. I didn’t ride it much at first. Compared to the DRZ it seemed very heavy, although as soon as it moved out the weight seemed magically to disappear. The computer seemed a bit off reading “> 256” for fuel remaining until I (a math teacher!) realized that > indicated “Greater Than” - but it was three times the size of the DRZ: it had to be using more fuel!
Yet it wasn’t. I’ve averaged almost 50 miles per gallon and tire wear appears negligible. Chain adjustment: nada, and shaft reliability issues seems to have been addressed (the latest Iron Butt Rally suffered only a single shaft drive failure). The nicest thing is when I find myself on the freeway: cruising along at 60 mph in 5th or 6th gear when I open the throttle the bike seems to say, “No problem. How much would you like?”
The Telelever front suspension has worked wonders too. Riding up Highway 9 or even Old La Honda Road the bike corners better then my dual sports ever did. Hit the front brake and the bike stays level -  amazing. This is one fantastic chunk of iron. It’s taken awhile for me to move through the Sportster line and the Honda 919 (which I’ll admit is a wonderful machine) and multiple dual sport bikes to find what appears to be one of the best all round bikes ever built.
And the best part: It’s paid for!
News, Clues has ridden the bike (City Bike, Jan ‘07) and concurs...great bike, one of BMW’s best. We recall getting insane, KLR650-like tank ranges, over 220 miles.

DIRTBAG!
Words and photos about the storied annual event from City Bike Contributor John Logan:
If you’ve not heard of, attended or been a part of the annual Dirtbag Challenge then you’re missing out on a fantastic event that is low-rent, low-spec, and high in the fun factor.  Over the years I’ve learned that the challenge here isn’t necessarily to get a rolling two-wheeler to the start and back to the finish. Most any meathead shade-tree mechanic can accomplish that. Nope, the challenge here is to create something from the scrap heaps that teeters on the border of art and insanity, preferably exhibiting the unexpected extremes of form and function. Then roll in the all-too-real question of operation or failure. Now that’s a challenging task.

This years seventh-annual Dirtbag Challenge started out about 9:00 am or so as riders arrived either riding or hauling their bikes in from wherever they happened to sleep the night before. If they slept: with just 30 days notice, it often came down to the morning of to determine if the creation would start, run and then make it past the first turn. At least those that rode their entries in were already past that anxious first moment.
The ride portion of the Challenge is for participants and chase trucks only. I didn’t expect that this group of grungy, loud, subculture riders would be the type to sit in line while waiting for stop-and-go lines or heavy traffic. I wasn’t wrong. They actually ride like I do, with the addition of noise, burnouts, skull caps and other Dirtbag hallmarks. I thoroughly enjoyed myself while chasing this crazed group of lowlifes around the city. People stared and pointed at intersections. They would applaud or cover their ears, or both. Cars often pulled over, some to let us by, others to check and see if that noise meant their muffler had fallen off. Car alarms were going off along the entire ride. A true service to the security-conscious citizens of S.F.
The finish line for the Challenge contenders is really the start of the show for the spectators and the always-interesting sideshow that goes on at this event every year. The bikes, the babes and the beer. It’s all here. The spectator parking area has many varieties of the moto-world covered, everything from totally restored antique and vintage motos to sportbikes. From Adventure-Touring to cruisers, from scooters to sidehacks. Some are here to park and show. Some are here to burn and go.
Meanwhile, inside the dirtbag zone many of the contenders try to finish off their rear tires, if not the engine as well. Burnouts, many going thru all the (working) gears to reach top burn speed, are frequent, loud and cast a smoky cover over the cheering spectators, reminiscent of a typical foggy day in the City…well, except for that wretched burnt-rubber smell.
The sound of screaming tires and wailing engines isn’t the only thing to be heard here. There were three bands rockin’ out this year as well as beer, hot dogs and burgers, and of course the Dirtbag Challenge souvenirs. The awards vary from year to year with this year seeing 6 award categories. They were… coolest, cleverest, sketchiest, prettiest, people’s choice, founders choice and the Jake Elliot award.
It’s about the abuse of logic, common sense and safety in the name of creativity, diversity and survivability. If you’re offended by loud noise, loud bikes, loud people, tattoos, alcohol, smoke, swearing or a fun time, stay away from the Dirtbag Challenge. If you are intrigued by the unusual, the unexpected or the unexplainable then you had better not let another Dirtbag Challenge roll by without going and seeing what all the noise and smoke is about. Bring ear plugs and beer money. Be a supporter of the Dirtbag subculture that has brought you this “Only in the Bay Area” event to be sure it continues on.
You will be back. More info is at www.dirtbagchallenge.com, where you can find out who won and even buy a sexy-girl calendar. To look at the bikes, of course.
See more of John’s photos at www.southbayriders.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86001


SHOP ‘TILL YOU DROP
It’s Xmas shopping season CB-ers, and time to do your part to repair our nation’s reeling economy by buying lots of foreign-manufactured goods. Here are some gift ideas:
Shelli at the D-Store San Francisco (131 South Van Ness, 415/626-5478) has some good ideas, you bet, like a selection of  Dainese Legend T-Shirts highlighting winning years for Dainese riders. Sizes S-XXL, $49. She also has Leather Protection and Conditioning kits, which include both cleaner and conditioner, a sponge, and cloth. Use it to wash away the dead bugs, re-moisturize after riding in the hot sun or getting caught in the rain, and extend the life of your Dainese and other leather garments. $34.95, and they gift-wrap. The D-Store is an amazing place, Candy Land for moto-gear fetishists, plus they have a mongo T.V. showing motorcycle racing, plus there’s nice, well-made (almost nothing’s made in the People’s Republic of China, not that there’s anything wrong with that, you understand) gear for snowboarding and other unnatural acts.
Speaking of T-shirts, we once again have City Bike T-shirts to sell. See the ad elsewhere in this issue: just $14.99, and it sports our famously irresponsible “Ride Fast Take Chances” motto.
If your gift-recipient wants some moto-schoolin, there are bargains afoot. Rich Oliver’s Mystery School, where you can learn to slide and skid and crash like a pro, has announced its 2010 schedule. There are one-day and two-day schools or the rigorus four-day Ultra Pro Camp. Rich even teaches a one-day MSF Dirtbike school.  Check it out at www.richoliver.net.
The Skip Barber Superbike School is a terrific program that Editor Gabe Ets-Hokin tried out (see City Bike, July) and said it made him ride so fast that he pooped his pants. There is still introductory pricing for the $2599 two-day course, so check it out at www.skipbarbersuperbikeschool.com.


Looking for something a little more literary for holiday gift-giving than a set of sockets? Check out a couple of books instead. Wrenched is a book of moto-themed poetry, covering poet, moto-scribbler, and wreinching racer Ed Milich’s trials and tribulations. Here’s a sample:


Krylon Victory Red
By Ed Milich

I drop the 10 bucks
For Krylon Victory Red
Three cans of grandeur.

Spray the pigment on
Red as the blood we bargain
In chasing glory.

I take special pride
In passing other race bikes
With better paint jobs.

Paint won’t make you fast
Beauty is overrated
I’d rather be swift.
 

Pure poetry...really. You can buy a copy for just $15, postpaid, by going to www.mobiuspalindrome.com, or better yet, head to Moto Marin in San Rafael (511 Francisco Blvd.) on December 11 or Werkstatt SF (3248 17th St.) on December 12 for book readings: both Milich and Mark Gardiner (freelance moto-journo who wrote the amazing book Riding Man, relating his year at the Isle of Man training for and riding the famed TT) will be reading and greeting.
Another good read is tech wizard Kevin Cameron’s The Grand Prix Motorcycle. It’s got it all: forward by Sir Kenny Roberts, Sr., beautiful full-color illustrations by Pepe Burgaleta (editor of Spain’s La Moto magazine) and 214 pages of Kevin’s engaging, informative and entertaining descriprions of 60 years of Grand Prix racing. $39.95, available from www.bullpublishing.com, or Amazon.com
And let’s not forget City Bike’s favorite mis-adventure rider, Ed Hertfelder. His latest book, 80.4 Finish Check is 356 pages of his side-splitting writing about the world of dirt riding. He likes to point out that the $29.95 price of his book (which includes shipping), has not changed since 2003. Send a check to Ed Hertfelder, P.O. Box 17564, Tucson, AZ 85731.