WEB OF DESPAIR

The City Bike Facebook page continues to grow, with 139 members at last count. Go there (just search for “City Bike” on Facebook, but don’t click on the Israeli motorcycle shop) and sign yer ass up for the latest City Bike news and updates and to meet and greet other City Bike readers, crazy kids that you are. While you’re surfing, check out our website, www.citybike.com, where we have been updating content feverishly. Well, warmishly.

CHECK OUT OUR CLASSY-FIEDS!

If you enjoy the creative writing found in our classified ads, you may also enjoy a new feature, “Classy-Fieds,” that Ed-in-Chief Ets-Hokin thought was the best idea, ever. It’s going to be a featured classified ad describing a motorcycle that seems historical, exotic or just plain interesting. Check out this month’s, a gorgeous custom-built Ducati Desmo Single racebike, and then keep your eyes peeled for bikes you think are worthy of the Classy-Fied. Send them in to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , attention Classy-Fieds.

TOO MUCH NOISE

Reader James Lamb took exception to last month’s “News Clues,” when we noted, “once you have actually trailed behind a loud bike and seen for yourself the parting of the waves, the heads snapping to attention, the overall increased awareness from the dense dolts who pilot cars and trucks in a deep stupor, you immediately become a believer.”

Lamb is having none of this:

“Yep. You become a believer that we all should be driving tanks and carrying machine guns. Because nothing commands respect more than loud noise and violence. Shock and awe.

You know, there’s a parallel argument going on at Burning Man–that various forms of noise are “art” and should be allowed free rein. But visual artists do not incessantly follow someone around, thrusting their art into the viewer’s field of vision. Noise art, on the other hand, is impossible to escape. We draw the line when your freedom interferes with my freedom…This “loud pipes saves lives” is more an attitude that someone can be hung-over, half-alert, or maybe even half-drunk and still lane split, because “BY GOD, YOU CAN HEAR ME COMIN’ AND BETTER GET THE F** OUT OF MY WAY!”

That deserves about as much respect as a suddenly opening car door. It insists that I am always right, and you are always wrong. It’s the kind of respect that only lasts until your back is turned. It values blaming others for your lack of intelligence and skill. I don’t publish a motorcycle paper for a living, but if I did, I’d consider where the growing market is. Or, you could cater to those who are loud and always right.”

Well said, sir.

A more concise critique came from enthusiast and Santa Rosa attorney Kim Clark. He left a few crisp observations on our answering machine. First, he took us to task about the latest issue of City Bike and its slightly revamped cover. As a man who knows many realtors who buy many realty signs, Clark observed with authority that City Bike does not have enough color on its front page. That a good realty sign sports lots of color, which is meant to attract attention. However, the last issue of City Bike is not a good sign, if it only runs a tiny spot of color. How can it possibly attract attention to itself? To which we respond, a photo of a middle-aged man doing a burn-out on an 18-hp 250 isn’t exciting enough? You guys are so jaded.

He then went on to point out our observations about Harley’s loud pipes aiding in lane splitting, claiming that was “total bullshit.” Clark pointed out that exhaust noise comes out the back. And that splitting lanes is not a thing a H-D rider does much of, in the first place. Also asked why City Bike was sucking up to Harley riders anyway, noting we have no Harley advertising whatever. So there.

While we have to admit that Clark is right in that all motorcycle exhaust notes come out the back, the sound of a Harley coming down the road somehow mysteriously precedes it. It really is not our imagination.

MEA CULPA-BULL

Remember the I Love Lucy episode in which our heroine insists on getting a job and then finds she is almost completely incompetent, with hilarious results? Which I Love Lucy episode in which our heroine insists on getting a job and then finds she is almost completely incompetent, with hilarious results, you say? Wow, you’re really old. Pick one. That’s the situation our new Ed-in-Chief, Gabe Ets-Hokin finds himself in here at City Bike.

Take, for example, the August cover. The idea was to transform the magazine into something more 21st-century, with a simpler, cleaner, more modern look. “But Gabe,” you might say, “it’s black-and-white newsprint. How modern can it look?” Sure. But he didn’t like the colored border you may recall from prior issues, saying it looked too “Rolling Stone c. 1971.” Hilarity ensues.

“Oi! I don’t like all this mess on the cover,” said Munroe’s Nick Hayman, angrily pointing at the headlines on the front of the mag. But it’s not all bad news; the typo count is almost as low as People magazine’s, and we even managed to include all the text from some stories, rather than leaving a “continued on pg. 32” when we only have 26 pages.

Amyway, please bear with us as we spend your tax dollars in the quest for a perfect-er City Bike. And please don’t hesitate to send in your comments, negative as well as positive to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , or leave them on our much-abused answering machine: 415/282-2790.

BMW S 1000 RROR

The communications manager at BMW North America, Mr. Laurence Kuykendall contacted us shortly after he received our last issue and sent the following email:

“Hi Guys: City Bike is one of my must-reads every month. Thanks for the feature on the new S 1000 RR and mentioning the list price of $13,800.”
But he noted some flaws in our News, Clues item about the new bike. “I just wanted to point out all the neat options on this bike like Race ABS, Dynamic Traction Control and Gear Shift Assist won’t push the bike up to anywhere near the $18,000 you suggest.
List is $13,800, Race ABS and DTC are another $1480 and Gear Shift Assist is $450 dollars for a total of $15,730 total. Okay, the Motosport color is $750 but I prefer the Thunder Grey Metallic by far. That’s less than $16,000 for a bike with Race ABS and DTC. You can’t get that on other bikes for any amount of money in the world.”

RECOVERY?

Although business in motorcycle sales is still down, it has picked up slightly in the month of August, according to several dealers we spoke to. According to one multi-line dealer, the sales in southern California are hovering consistently at half of what they were a few years ago, with that percentage being lower in Northern California. European brands such as KTM, Aprilia and BMW seem to be faring better than the Japanese brands. Financing seems to be a factor in the slow Japanese brand sales with many young, would-be applicants simply not able to obtain loans in the tight money market.

Meanwhile, MDK Motorsports of Concord has shut its doors. Other MDK locations are still open.

STOP, THIEF!

An anonymous reader, peacefully munching on his lunch at an unidentified Mission Street Burger King, noticed a suspicious-looking van pull up to the collection of newsracks on the corner. Persons unknown emerged from the van and started “ripping papers out of the newsracks and huckin’ ‘em into the van.” Our brave reader confronted the thieves, who informed him they were taking the papers to be recycled. This has been an ongoing problem plaguing free publication sin San Francisco. And it’s not destitute homeless folks doing it, either; the stories we’ve heard involve clean, well-organized-looking people in nice vans and trucks. Jeez, how many tons of newsprint do you gotta take to the dump just to cover gas?

Anyway, a call to the SFPD’s public information man Dewayne Tully revealed that poaching papers from a rack, even if they are free, with the intention of recycling en masse is petty theft, secs. 488 and 496 of the California penal code, punishable by fine or imprisonment in the county slammer. So if you see someone messing with City Bike newsracks, or taking more than their fair share of our moto-newsy goodness, call the SFPD non-emergency dispatch at 415/553-0123 with a description (don’t forget plates!) of the people and vehicle. Take a picture with your fancy camera phone, too. Our Editor-in-Chief, a keen law-and-order type on par with Spiro T. Agnew, will pay a $200 cash reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of said lowlifes.

SPIED, THIEF
Sometimes you don’t even have to be on hand with a camera phone to spy a thief; your building’s security camera does it for you. This photo is of two creepy guys laughing and having a good ol’ time as they steal a beautiful 2004 MV Agusta Brutale out of a secured garage in the Mission in June. The bike was recovered in July (after someone ran it into a wall), but the thieves have not yet been apprehended. If you see one of these guys, please call the SFPD at 415/553-0123 and ask for Officer Silveria.  

JUSTICE DESERTS

Usually when a motorcycle is stolen, it’s just gone. Forever. And even if it is recovered, the thief usually goes unpunished. But sometimes God exercises his ample sense of humor. Last week, in Australia, a 39-year-old man decided to take someone else’s Harley out for a joy ride. He was bombing around the neighborhood when he wiped out and impaled himself on a wooden garden stake. Seriously!

It gets even better. Apparently, the bike’s owner came upon the scene, saw him stuck on the spike, punched him in the face, took his wallet and then rode away on his Harley. Tough place, that New South Wales. The unidentified thief was airlifted (by siege catapult, we hope) to a hospital, where he is expected to recover. “The spike went in at his armpit and out through near his shoulder blade,” the EMT service spokesman said. Lucky he wasn’t a vampire.

CHROME BAGS LAUNCH SOYUZ

We’re big fans of all that is made-in-USA here at CB, so we don’t mind pimping for a local company that makes great gear. Chrome Bags, headquartered in SOMA, has announced a new roll-top laptop backpack, the Soyuz.

The $180 Soyuz has lots of features that make it moto-friendly, including extreme waterproofiness, an ergonomic pack panel and a shape that shouldn’t interfere with your helmet, even on a sportbike. Check it out at www.chomebagstore.com or your local Chrome dealer.

THROW THE BIKE AT HIM

Jim Caviezel, who played the part of Jesus in Mel Gibson’s cine-rant The Passion of the Christ barely escaped injury when a man inexplicably threw a bicycle in front of his Harley, causing him to crash. According to a Washington State Patrolman, “Mr. Caviezel was riding his motorcycle on I-97 and a pedestrian pushing a bicycle for some reason threw it into the lane of travel.” The 40-year-old actor was thrown from his bike but only sustained minor cuts and abrasions. “Luckily he had all the proper safety equipment on,” noted the cop. “He was treated at a nearby hospital and released.” The bike-thrower, a guy named David Nelson, was spotted by witnesses tossing the bike at Caviezel. Local law enforcement is considering assault and reckless endangerment charges. Everyone’s a critic…

PORT GIVES MOTOS THE SHAFT

Reader/Contributor Ivan Thelin noted a horrific rise in the price of moto-parking on the Embarcadero:

“Looks like the motorcycle parking space rates along/near the SF Embarcadero upped to $3.00/hr today. Same as cars. Brilliant move that effectively eliminates them from use by bikes. Although enforced by DPT, I hear these costly parking spaces are not owned by the City but by “the waterfront”. Someone there must not love motorcycles...The City-owned motorcycle spaces a block away (of which many are vacant) are still a great deal. Think riders will walk a block to save 20 bucks a day? You betcha!”

We placed a call with the Port of S.F.’s P.R. person, Rene Dunn-Martin. She told us it was an error, and that the meters were being corrected to reflect the old rates. Crisis averted, Ivan…for now…

BUELL BLASTS THE BLAST

You may be a fan of the Buell Blast. You may actively despise the Buell Blast. Or you may not even be aware such a model exists. No matter: The bike is no more, crushed into a 28-inch by 28-inch cube by Erik Buell himself. There are now just eight Buell models in the lineup for 2010, with the $8999 XB9SX the lowest-priced model. Other than new graphics and colors, LED taillights and new rear turn signals, there are no changes to any models. But why remove the Blast, a reliable, affordable and easy-to-ride bike that has a small following and has trained hundreds of thousands of riders?

“It’s just a solid, fundamental beginner’s bike,” says Erik Buell in a video posted to a clever microsite (go to buell.com) about the crushing of the Blast. “Not innovative, not breakthrough, not a sportbike, just a nice, simple motorcycle. It actually pulled people away from what Buell does…it’s not what Buell does. It doesn’t fit with the brand.” Referring to Buell’s unique approach—what Erik calls ‘ruthless engineering’, he went on to note that the Blast “wasn’t an example of ruthless engineering….and we can be ruthless about (removing it from the lineup) too. We have the technology,” he says, patting the squished cube of plastic and steel he’s sitting on.

We spoke to a few H-D luminaries about the Blast recently, who told us the Blast will still be manufactured, but only for use in the Rider’s Edge training program. Would that motor appear in a future H-D model, to provide an affordable entry-level bike for the youth market, which H-D is eager to sink its corporate teeth into? “Harley-Davidsons are V-Twins,” was the flat and simple response; in other words, no. That’s a shame: a simply-styled, inexpensive, lightweight and fun-to-ride Thumper is the dream of many enthusiasts.

Blast fans can purchase a crushed Blast in three colors (Battle Blue, Sunfire Yellow or Midnight Black), numbered and signed by Erik. “It makes a killer ottoman,” chirps the copy on the site. Thanks, but we have enough crushed stuff already.

FLAT-FOOTS CAUGHT FLAT-FOOTED

Ruch Ginigalgodage, a poster on Bay Area Rider’s Forum, told us he weaseled out of a speeding ticket recently by requesting a recent traffic and engineering survey for the stretch of Highway 9 (in between Saratoga and Highway 35) he was cited on in court. Police must produce such a survey to use radar readings in court., thanks to anti-speedtrap legislation.

Apparently the survey had expired, so the ticket was dismissed. These tough economic times are a double-edged sword: no money for dumb stuff like engineering surveys (which usually show that drivers have great contempt for speed limits), but the back-up revenue source (3-mile-an-hour-over-the-speed-limit speeding tickets) depends on the surveys so the officers can use radar. Takes money to make money, County of San Mateo. Better luck next time.

THOSE DAMN BICYCLISTS!

This came in from our roving Marin correspondent, BT Bullet:

“Rumor has it, due to the current state financial crisis, law enforcement is now out in extreme force to help bring home the bacon. I’ve noticed a high number of CHP on the roads this week. In West Marin on Sunday I was ticketed for speeding on Lucas Valley Road (50mph in a 35mph zone). Monday on the daily 580/880 commute a motorcycle officer was actually lane splitting on the San Rafael Bridge to catch violators—saw a cruiser out there too. CHP presence in this area is very rare.

None of this really bothers me though. What bothers me is, during my 50-mile ride on Sunday, is what I observed: About 100 bicyclist on the road, riding in small groups, many two abreast. A half-dozen times I’d round a turn and see one to three cars, over the double yellow, head-on in my lane, passing bicyclists. And no officers in sight. Instead, one officer was parked warm and safe on the exit of a blind turn, on a wide stretch of road, chasing guess who? The easy target; the path of least resistance; the rider (who is aware that they might be greeted around the next bend by a smiling grille and a set of headlights). What I did not see a lot of on this particular Sunday were cars driving 35 mph on Lucas Valley Road.”

We’ve also seen a greatly stepped-up CHP presence all over the Bay Area. Just when we had a 160-hp Ducati Streetfighter S to test…

IMS DATES SET

Dates for the West Coast International Motorcycle Shows have been set. The big, big show, which will feature hundreds of vendors and most of the major OEMs, will be at the San Mateo convention center November 20-22. It will then be in Long Beach the following weekend (Dec. 4-6), and then roll on up to Seattle. December 11-13. You gotta go, if only for those giant hot dogs served on the doughnut rolls…

SUPERMOTOSTRANO WHEEL KIT

What’s more fun than a supermoto? Nothing comes to mind right away, but I’m sure I can think of something, probably involving sex or food. Until then, Motostrano has a complete basic kit for an unbelievably affordable $1099. We’re not just giving them a free plug: it’s pretty incredible what you get at that price.

If you tried to source the wheels, tires, tubes, fender, big front rotor, rear rotor and sprocket, plus all the required mounting hardware for your thumper, you’d probably be better off just buying one of the factory-built supermotos on the market. Motostrano’s basic supermoto kit is just $1099 and includes everything you need to do the supermoto thing without breaking the bank. Find out if they have an application for your thumper at www.motostrano.com.

AVON TAKES THE WORLD BY STORM

If you’re getting ready for winter, like we are (ha!), you’re probably wondering what rubber you’re going to run. Avon has some new skins for you to try. It claims its new Storm 2 Ultra tires are “so good in the rain riders tout they feel like they are riding on dry pavement.” The tires use “Avon’s patented Advanced Variable Belt Density construction with differing steel tensions and densities…a medium-compound center tread and softer compound shoulders along with a base compound to bind the two compounds gives riders the grip they need when and where they want it. And the A-VBD with its densely wrapped belt in the center section and looser wrapped belt on the shoulders gives the reinforcement needed for better mileage and high-speed stability.”

Fronts start at $169, rears at $212 and will be available from distributors starting in October. For more information, call Avon Customer Service at 800/ 624-7470 or go to www.avonmoto.com. We’ll test a set as soon as they are available and report back to you.

RETURN OF THE STOCKTON MILE

When it came to 120-mph bar-banging action, the West Coast was where it was at, with San Jose, Ascot Park half-mile and Stockton the battlegrounds where stars like Kenny Roberts and Bubba Shobert duked it out. Sadly, we haven’t had a mile flattrack race out here for years.

Until now. The Lodi Motorcycle Club (who put on the Lodi Cycle Bowl events among other things), and Mitchell Motorcycle Group, a chain of local dealerships, is brining back the Mile at the San Joaquin County Fairgrounds September 12th and 13th. It’ll be a full weekend of racing, with a $17,000 cash purse, a vintage race and vintage bike displays. We’ll be there; to find out more go to www.stocktonmile.com or call Alvin Webber at 209/304-6452.

LOST COAST DUAL-SPORT ADVENTURE

Summer’s not over ‘till we say it’s over! So sign up for the North Bay Motorcycle Club’s annual Lost Coast Dual-Sport Ride. It’s going on October 3rd–4th, a non-competetive 385-mile ride that starts and finishes in Ukiah, with an overnight in Fortuna. “New and Improved!” reads the flyer, “Less Pavement and More Dirt!” The routes have been planned with all kinds of off-road bikes, from enduros to big adventure rigs. Entry fees are $80 per rider, and proceeds will go to benefit the Blue Ribbon Coalition and D36
legal defense fund, “protecting your rights to ride!” Find out more by visiting www.northbaymc.org